Don’t know

How time and situations have brought a turmoil. Uncertainty of what do I want in terms of my career and in my personal life.
A person who was so determined at her head once is lacking direction, moving in every pathway, which anybody and everybody mentions .
On top of it when I need my love to be there, he is present but is not exactly here.
I don’t know if being with him brings me stability or is setting me bizzare
Though he tries his best to keep my back in despair.
I sometimes feel guilty that I am unable to give him the love he deserves, coz he is the one who let’s me be weird.
I do not want to hurt him, but I know with my every action , he burns
I am a free bird which can never return.
I know my journey but don’t know where to start.
God I want you to show me the way , to set the spark…

At this point of time, I am so confused about everything, after I came back from my one  month travel  on 8th feb 2016 I was unable to cope up for almost 5 days. Post that I brought myself together and started to think what I wanted. The only thing which came to my mind was to get out of India and explore, whether by STUDYING, VOLUNTEERING OR WORK.

But after so much of search on Internet and talking to people I realized, everybody wants money. So did I for all the above.

Every volunteering has a fee attached
If I want to work outside india, I have to pay the consultants
And if I study, there is an additional fees for all international students, except for some colleges in germany and Finland. Still if I have to pay in euros or usd, it will surely burn a hole in my pocket.

Then I decided to take up work from anywhere, but no success on online application.

Lastly I decided to earn and spend during my leave time. Traveling forever cannot bring stability and monetary back up for emergency.

Everything comes like a phase of life & passes by.


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